Life Is Not Always Happiness All The Time
Compassion is so important to me, it should be to you as well.
Compassion shows our ability to Love.
Without true compassion then there really is no way we can truly love someone.
Sometimes we have bad days,
I do have bad days, and there is often a feeling of sadness because like anyone else
I have this kind of feeling that people ask "how are you" but they don't really
mean it, and they don't really listen to the answer.
This is important to me, when I see someone that looks like they are stressed,
good or bad I ask them "how they are doing" but most importantly
Sometimes we have friends or family that have bad days and we take on their pain too.
Its part of being a human, it is part of loving
When we feel someone Else's painful experiences its COMPASSION
WHAT IS COMPASSION?
Understanding without judgment.
Deep awareness of the suffering of another, coupled with the wish to relieve it
The desire to help when a need is discovered.
desire to identify with or sense something of each others experience; a precursor of caring
Compassion is an understanding of the emotional state
of another or oneself.
often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of
show special kindness to those who suffer
humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it
I believe that having compassion is a way to enhance your own personal life,
without it don't you think you would feel empty, it kind of goes with having a purpose in our lives.
It is an emotion and as you know emotions are real, if you feel compassionate twords others then you are feeling a true humanistic emotion. Having a warm heart, and genuine love for people is a wonderful way to live your life. There is a deep sense of peacefulness in those that exhibit compassion for people around them. However it is not just humans that we feel compassion for, we feel compassion for animals as well.. Our Pets, or those poor abused and misplaced animals. We have all seen those commercials, right? Well that is a kindness, a compassion for wanting to help anyway you can. I Have to say that I find it very upsetting when I see businesses, or salesman use compassion as a way to line pockets. They tug at our heartstrings, our sense of compassion to fill a very selfish need. This can lead to compassion "burn out "
which I will talk about later on.
It plays a huge role in how well we do in our personal relationships, friendships, and marriages.
In order to be able to love you have to think of ways to give, listen, and be willing to self motivate to give more. Relationships are built strong by giving, and if you have no compassion your chances of being able to understand what your partner is feeling will be extremely difficult if you have no compassion or care for what they are feeling. As with your feeling emotions is real you have to believe that what your partner is feeling is real too.
I had lots of difficulties in my marriage about this. If I was upset, or hurting and tried to get him to listen he would say, "your wrong" or "you are over reacting". After a while I realized that he had NO compassion for my emotions. No one has the right to tell you what your are feeling is WRONG.
Compassion I believe is taught at an early age, from infancy on. I do think that it is one of the most important attributes we as parents can teach our children. I also believe that if that is not taught in childhood the chances of a person just one day waking up with compassion about anything is really not going to happen.
I do not mean to say it can never happen, yes people can change but to learn how to be compassion I think something very traumatic has to happen in that person's life for him or her to want to change.
However compassion is one of the deepest surrealist form of being a good decent human being. I goes along with integrity, pride, strength, emotional states of giving, caring, all the good things people believe in wrapped up into one word. You can be as generous with compassion as you want. But you have to want to or else it is not true compassion its just like a job you do because of the money not like a job you do because you love it. There is a big difference. Some people will use a false sense of compassion, like writing a check or doing volunteer work just to hear thanks and praise. True compassion is doing without the gratification of rewards. The only reward is the incredible feeling of love that can not be replaced by rewards. It is seeing a smile, or just maybe just sitting quietly listening to someone who needs to cry. It is a way to share, without having something material to share you have caring, kindness and love.
We have to learn to be compassionate with ourselves as well. Stop listening to the bad thoughts we have about ourselves, like our body image, how we look, or a disability. Self criticism is a compassion killer. words like, I am fat, I am ugly, how stupid could I be, I am not good enough for him/her... They are words that are meant to hurt, only the only person you are hurting is yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. Stop punishing yourself, stop thinking bad thoughts that diminish who you really are. When we have true compassion and we can feel someone Else's pain we are in touch with our own emotions and feel our own pain. That is part of being compassionate. We must validate not only how we are feeling but how other people are feeling as well. If you say, "don't feel that way" we are in a way diminishing how they are feeling, then in fact we are not believing someone's true emotional state.
When you are in a relationship, having compassion will enhance every ounce of love you have for each other. I will show in emotional well being, intimacy, passions, and keeping a unique individualization or identity to each person. If you minimize you are grouping, if you are grouping emotions, you are minimizing emotions, therefore you are not being compassionate to your partners feelings or needs. That can lead to a controlling, emotionless abusive marriage. With no compassion in a relationship there will eventually be an unequal balance, between two people who become separate. Emotional abuse is alienation of affections, not just in the sexual part but the mental stability as well. If there is emotional abuse, or carelessness in a marriage that will make one partner feel stronger than the other, which can lead to power trips, and that can lead to verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse because without compassion and equal partnership there really is no true love, and doing things and saying things to each other that will cause pain and hurtful situations. Wanting to Protect your partner from pain rather than causing your partner pain by controlling them that is compassion.
COMPASSION AND EXPECTATIONS
compassionate will sometime mean we have to sacrifice our own needs in
order to help someone. It is one of the greatest gifts we can give to
one another without any expectations! If we expect something in return for something we give as a form of compassion then we really are not showing compassion at all. I never expect anything, not even a thank you when I use compassion. If someone feels compelled to thank me for something I give, it kind of makes me sad as it defeats my purpose of showing untethered compassion